Marilyn Manson's parents come clean:
"We gave him a girl's name because we wanted to toughen him up, you know, like in that song 'A Boy Named Sue'... Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

The New England Journal of Medicine has published biological research which, for the first time, unequivocally links sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll. Another finding of the research, which came as a major surprise, was a correlation between heavy metal fans and deafness. "At this we're not sure if it's due to nature or nurture", shouted neurophysiologist and drummer Dr Richard "Sticks" Fotherington.

More lost Beatles tapes unearthed!
Apparently the recordings were made by an industrious janitor who set up a microphone outside the Fab Four's hotel bathroom sometime in 1965. We asked what the tapes were like: "Well... it's a bit hard to tell," said entrepreneur Stig Tomkinson, "What, with the shower running and all... but Ringo does do a rollicking version of 'Yellow Submarine'!"
REM are one of the biggest, most successful, and let's face it — richest — bands on the planet.
Yet, it seems only a few, short years ago that the band were often seen on the streets begging for hand-outs. Michael Stipe, on one occasion, even sold the shirt off his back!
While in hospital for an unrelated complaint, doctors discovered that Bob Dylan has had a serious sinus problem for the last 50 years — wow! — who'd have thought it?
As the fixed up, smooth-voiced Dylan prepares to release an album of tunes made famous by Sinatra and other crooners, his record company is bracing itself for an expected backlash from traditional Dylan fans, who are notoriously fickle when they find that the times they are a changin'.




Conspiracy theorists announce that, upon careful examination of archival footage, there is no doubt that Michael Jackson's so-called "moonwalk" was nothing more than an elaborate NASA hoax.



Mick Jagger launches legal action in pursuit of a claim that he was the inventor of collagen lip injections.

Says Jagger, "Look at these lips, man, do they look natural to you?"
We think the man definitely has a case.

Dedicated Oasis fans will be confused, and perhaps even shocked, to learn that, during a recent night on the town, neither of the Gallagher brothers got into a fight — not even with each other! Is this the end of the band as we know it?
The hearing-disabled will be overjoyed to learn that leading music identities are using their high profiles to help publicise a campaign to raise awareness of the benefits of learning sign language. Among the first to "put their hands up" in support of this worthy cause are Eminem, Eddie Vedder, and Britney Spears.


Bill Clinton denies playing sax with "that" woman!


We've had a report that at a Rolling Stones concert in Toronto last week — and it must be stressed that this is unconfirmed — at one point Charlie Watts looked almost interested!

A conference on the state of rap music, held recently in New York, has heard the surprising news that the art form may be in danger of becoming stale!
This conclusion was based on survey results showing that nearly everybody agrees that each song sounds the same and that each performer looks the same. One dissenting attendee, who wished to remain anonymous, stated: "You just wait for my next video, man, you gonna see a whole other side of rap... I'm gonna pull my pants all the way up!"

Christina Aguilera sacked her hair stylist when it was discovered that he had faked his credentials and work history. It turns out that the man's only prior experience was working at a poodle pet parlor.


Interview with legendary rock guitarist Skunk Davies

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